KNOW THE SIGNS

While red flags aren’t always proof that someone is being mistreated, they are worth knowing. Many who are abused may try to cover up what is happening to them for a variety of reasons.

To understand and recognize what you may be witnessing click here. 

BE A RESOURCE

There are local, provincial and national resources available to people experiencing domestic violence. From websites to crisis phone lines and shelters. Locally, Archway Society operates a 24-Hour Crisis and Information Line; not only for women experiencing violence, but for anyone who might have questions or concerns regarding domestic violence and abuse – call 250-542-1122 or text 250-540-0656.

ARE YOU AWARE?

On average, it takes a woman seven attempts to leave an abuser before ending the relationship permanently. 

Worldwide, 1 in 3 women have experienced physical or sexual violence — mostly by an intimate partner.

6x Indigenous women are killed at six times the rate of non-Indigenous women.

Approximately every 6 days, a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner.

A victim’s reasons for staying with their abusers are extremely complex and, in most cases, are based on the reality that their abuser will follow through with the threats they have used to keep them trapped: the abuser will hurt or kill them, they will hurt or kill the kids, they will win custody of the children, they will harm or kill pets or others, they will ruin their victim financially — the list goes on.

Abusers repeatedly go to extremes to prevent the victim from leaving. In fact, the period after leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence. One study found in interviews with men who have killed their partners that either threats of separation by their partner or actual separations were most often the precipitating events that lead to the murder.

The victim in violent relationships knows their abuser best and fully knows the extent to which they will go to make sure they have and can maintain control over the victim.

BE READY

If someone you know is thinking about leaving or is in fear the violence will escalate, be ready to help. Create a signal or phrase that can indicate imminent need or escalating danger.  Keep your phone with you and the ringer on, make sure you have gas in your car and discuss an escape plan or meeting place ahead of time.

No one wants to believe that someone they care about is being harmed by a person that claims to love them. Often, people will ignore their gut instinct and deny something is wrong or tell themselves it isn’t their business.

Unfortunately, it has become a common mentality amongst society when an individual witnesses an act of abuse to turn the other way.  Family violence and domestic abuse is a community issue. It is everyone’s business. YOU have a role to play in ending it.

Don’t ignore it. 

Police officers hear the same thing from witnesses again and again—I heard, saw, or perceived domestic violence but didn’t want to or know how to  get involved. If you hear your neighbors engaged in a violent situation, call 911. It could save a life.

If you think that a friend or someone you know is in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, it can be difficult to know what to do. You may want to help, but be scared to lose them as a friend or feel as though it is not your place to step in. All of these feelings are normal, but one of the most important things you can do as a friend is listen. Listening can help someone to break the silence around their situation.

Listen to your friend and let them open up about the situation on their own terms. Don’t be forceful with the conversation. It may be very hard for your friend to talk about their relationship, but remind them that they are not alone and that you want to help.

3 Words Can Make All The Difference……….      I BELIEVE YOU 

Historically, survivors have been afraid to disclose for fear of not being believed or blamed. Many never tell anyone. Then because so few domestic violence cases are reported – most abusers walk free. It’s time to end this cycle. It all starts with YOU. When someone tells you they were or are being abused, believe them.

The majority of victims of violence turn to someone they know for help first.  How family members, friends, neighbors or co-workers respond is incredibly important in shaping what the victim does next. 

Victims often feel alone and maybe minimizing what is really happening it could be more serious than you think. 

Let them know it’s not their fault. No one asks for this to happen to them. If you’ve doubted someone in the past, remember it’s never too late to start believing.

Ask what you can do to help.

Whether or not may not ever fully understand what they’re going through. Remember … You don’t need to fix the situation. Acknowledge that the situation is not ok. Ask how you can help.

Check in regularly. 

If a loved one or friend is in danger, reach out regularly to ensure their safety.

By sharing YOU have taken the first step- YOU have helped to raise awareness in your community.

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USE HASHTAGS: 

#LISTEN. #BELIEVE. #ACT.

#bemyvoice  #makethecall  #courageovercomfort